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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your dick down someones throat."

"""We can't hire you. We're trying to get more diverse"" ME: But I'm Hispanic [A bear walks in wearing a fresh Hooters outfit] ME: Aw man"

"Have you heard of the man that walked all day and only moved two feet? .....That's all he had."

"Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, you will pay. You have my Word."

"GENIE: u get 3 wishes! ME: for my first wish, I want a never-ending bowl of guac GENIE: guac, huh? Yeah, that's gonna cost you an extra wish"

"Glad the lady in front of me decided at the last second to stop at the yellow light as I prefer to eat my fries from the dashboard."

"Magic is like breast implants... ...we all know its fake, but when done well, can give you a feeling of true wonder"

"3 logicians walk into a bar the bartender says ""do you all want beer?"" the first logician says ""I'm not sure"" the second logician says ""I'm not sure"" the third logician says ""Jul 16"""

"How many black people does it take to start a riot. -1 I stole this."

"A Scotsman and an Irish man walk into a bar And the Scotsman shouts ""All the drinks are on me!"" The next morning the headlines read *""Irish Ventriloquist Found Dead Behind Bar""*"