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Joke of the Day

"Kinda bored. Might shake things up by believing in Santa again."

"I hate three things (1) Posting on /r/Jokes (2) Lists (3) Irony"

"I'm a pedophile Just kidding"

"Old school chicken joke Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and crossed the road again? Because he was a dirty double-crosser!"

"Mom asked about a stock she's owned for 20yrs called Amazon & I've mostly been telling her I love her & reminding her my brother never calls"

"I didnt believe my grandfather got fired from his job as a Crossing guard for theft... But when i got home the signs were there"

"JUDITH! FETCH MY EVIL PLAN GLASSES! *2 hours later has organised a small festival* Dammit Judith, these are my party planning glasses!"

"Why do graveyards have fences? Cause everyone's dying to get in!"

"Boss: ""late again I see"" Brain: think of a good excuse! Mouth: ""your moms late."" Brain: wow...."

"How did the urologist ruin his Christmas? [OC] He looked inside Santa's sack."