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Joke of the Day

"Old school chicken joke Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and crossed the road again? Because he was a dirty double-crosser!"

"What's the President's favorite vegetable? Barackoli"

"""When fat people finish eating their Popsicles, let's punish them with the taste of death."" --the creator of the wooden Popsicle stick"

"If grandmas had an award ceremony, what would it be called? The Grammy's"

"[wife gets home & sees shit on the rug] What's this? ""It was Rover he w.."" *dog makes throat slice gesture* ""It was me. I shit on the rug"""

"Roy Hodgson has told the England squad that they'll have to tighten their belts next week. He also added that they should not remove them until the ""fasten seat belt"" sign goes out."

"Bear mace is like regular mace but you have to buy it at the maul... Thank you for your time."

"What does an Internet frog say? Reddit Reddit"

"next time you're considering wearing a fedora just think ""what would jesus do?"" because jesus wouldn't wear a fedora."

"A ginger, a brunette and a blonde in Hell Just kidding, how could a ginger go to hell without a soul?"