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Joke of the Day

"What was early man's best friend? Primates"

"White smoke from under my hood means either my starter went out or my car has elected a new Pope."

"Do you know why lions eat raw meat? Because lions don't know how to cook."

"When I look up at the majesty of all them stars it really gets me to thinkin, when we gonna get that ding dong roof patched up!? Ah horse apples!"

"So I asked my friend, if you could be in the sun as long as possible and not get sun burnt but the majority of the world hates you, would you do it? And my friend said yeah. Okay you're black."

"Clean shirts Q: How does Snoop Dogg keep his tee shirts so white? A: Blee-otch."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter"

"US Loretta Lynch confirms that all 7 FIFA officials dramatically threw themselves onto the ground faking injury when arrested earlier today."

"What does a buisness man wear to the beach A wet suit What am i doing with my life..."

"(x-post from /r/dadjokes) Did you hear about the new ultra-expensive cologne that's for sale? It's called ElonMuskTM"