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Joke of the Day

"How did Canada get its name? They picked random letters out of a hat. C.... eh? N... eh? D....eh?"

"It's uncomfortable when the neighbor's kids look like you."

"Did you hear about the witch who did a four year course in ugliness? She finished it in two."

"The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks."

"Me: ""I can't turn on the shower"" Plumber: ""It's seen you naked so often the excitement's gone. Try dressing up"" *Hands over shower cap*"

"What does the tree says in autumn ? Leaf me alone."

"What kind of music do chiropractors listen to? Hip-pop."

"What do you call a mound of dirt that is uneducated? A Hillbilly"

"My ex-wife still misses me... BUT 'ER AIM IS GETTIN' BETTER! ...'ER AIM IS GETTIN' BETTER! ......you see, i...it's funny because marriage is terrible."

"What happened to Ray when he met the man-eating monster? He became an ex-Ray."