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Joke of the Day

"The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks."

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"they used to allow cell phones on airplames but the pasengers kept textimg the pilots to do loop-de-loops & barrel rols. it was too rad"
"whats the difference between me and the bible? i'm easy to read"
"""Is this the burn ward?"" ""Yes can I help you?"" ""You need to admit my mom, I told her that her casserole was ass-erole."" ""Stop calling here."""
"You're stuck in 2nd person and you can't get out. Help you. Help you. Please. Help you You wrote this reddit post"
"Why does it take so long for a nun to get her clothes? It takes 21 days to make a habit."
"Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower The rest 2% have never been to prison."
"And the bartender says ""Sorry we don't serve time travelers here."" So two time travelers walk into a bar."
"Can't believe it's the Chinese New Year. I'm still writing Rabbit on all of my checks."
"After the apocalypse, in cannibalistic Germany, ""Kindergarten"" takes on a new, darker meaning."
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