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Joke of the Day

"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back."

"What's the difference between a Malaysia Airline flight and Internet Explorer? None. Eventually, both of them are gonna crash."

"An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walked into this bar... ..and of course we all know this because they wouldn't shut up about it."

"To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present... They are due back at the library today."

"I have a Polish friend who does microphone tests for bands. I have a Czech one two. Czech one two. Czech one two."

"My wife said the infinity scarf I got her is too small and I said: ""That's mathematically impossible."" Anyhoo, we're divorced now."

"One of the good things about trump winning... We get to see Amy schumer leave."

"What are the man with no shoes say when he was forced to walk on broken glass? Fuck"

"What's the easiest way to end a friendship? Just asking for a friend"

"When I die I want my group project members to lower me into my grave So they can let me down one last time."