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Joke of the Day

"To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present... They are due back at the library today."

"4 out of 5 dentists recommend flossing... The fifth is out killing lions."

"Ron on Facebook says he hopes to be stuck on a dessert island, so naturally I commented ""that sounds delicious""."

"Your luggage has wheels on it? You know, that guy Jesus didn't have WHEELS on that cross thingy he had to lug around. You people disgust me."

"How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool? ""Please Get Out The Pool"""

"How many letters can you wear on your feet? 10 E's"

"I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know."

"Never leave Sulfuric Acid in a metal beaker That's an oxidant waiting to happen."

"Why do they allow people in wheelchairs to bring carry-ons onto a plane? Aren't they themselves a carry-on?"

"Dance like nobody's watching you. 'Cause they're not. Nobody cares. ~Inspirational tweet~"