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Joke of the Day

"If at first you don't succeed...."

"What fried food will shut your neighbor's dogs up? Hushpuppies."

"I want to do an essay on chronology and hand it in late... ... so the professor can say ""it's about time!"""

"What's sad about three black guys driving over a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends :("

"Nobody likes the girl who brings the acoustic guitar guy to the party."

"Went out to play Pokemon Go, found the meaning of life. It's Golbat."

"We won't know we've truly made it as a society until computers in movies stop making beeping noises"

"'100% Yes!' '1000% Yes!!' '1,000,000% Yes!!!' I wish the X Factor judges would stop trying to top each other... and just top themselves."

"A pharmaceutical company in Canada is offering $47 billion to buy the company that makes Botox. People at Botox were pretty excited I mean, you should've seen the look that wasn't on their faces."

"What did the food say to the other food, while inside a stomach? I won't digest yet."