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Joke of the Day

"Two potatoes are standing on the corner. How can you tell which one is the hooker? The one with the sticker that says, ""Idaho""."

"Mosquitoes are whores. They suck on everyone who goes near them."

"Instead of going to college, just read a pile of books and barely do your laundry. Same thing."

"Guy walks into a bar... Guy walks into a bar with jumper cables wrapped around his neck. Bartender said ""alright...but don't start nothing!"""

"I just tried to type ""cop car"" but it autocorrected to ""cop cat"" and boom I just came up with the title of a new hit detective show."

"I'm in one of those moods that only a virgin sacrifice will appease."

"There is no ""ea"" in Tim."

"If clinical depression was a sound, it would be two people trying to talk at the same time during a conference call."

"I once auditioned for ""Man Laying Fertilizer"" in a commercial, and afterward, they asked me to do it again but to keep in mind hes straight."

"As a guy in the porn industry... I work hard."