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Joke of the Day

"Two of the three times I've jumped out of a moving car, Beiber was on the radio. The other time my grandma entered the freeway the wrong way."

"Last night I thought I heard the spring onions singing Bee Gees songs in my fridge. When I opened the door I realised it was just the chives talking."

"So a man is alone in a forest And if his wife isn't around to hear him. Is he still wrong?"

"I got addicted to eating deli meat right out of the refrigerator... But I decided to quit cold turkey."

"Donalds trumps presidential campaign"

"Ronda Rousey walks into a bar... and gets knocked the fuck out"

"Why do redditors have so many inside jokes? Because we're too afraid to go outside"

"""As seen on tv"": Get two pieces of crap that don't work for the price of one."

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face..... :D eh. Eh.?"

"What happened to the broken down frog? It got **toad** away!"