149534

Joke of the Day

"Last night I thought I heard the spring onions singing Bee Gees songs in my fridge. When I opened the door I realised it was just the chives talking."

"I found a dead girl on the golf course It was a difficult shot, but I was able to chip it over her head and right up onto the green."

"What happened to the man who owned a riding academy? Business kept falling off!"

"I don't play guitar, but I sure would pluck your G-string."

"What is a man's most sensitive organ while masturbating? His ears"

"Son - Dad, you wanted a boy or a girl? Dad - seriously son, i just wanted to fuck."

"If your kid complains about how bored they are during winter break put a cape on them and say, ""Now you're super bored!"" and then fly away."

"An Eskimo walks into a bakery and orders an apple pie, a cherry pie and a blueberry pie. The baker says, ""sorry, we don't serve Eskimo pies here."""

"I am a master of tearable puns But only on paper"

"what do you call a dinosaur with a big mouth, big ass and tiny hands? T-Rump"