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Joke of the Day

"Oh so your boyfriend cheated on you? But how is every other man on this planet responsible for it?"

"Why are blondes so good with odd numbers? Because they, like, can't even!"

"I don't see countries or borders, I don't see color or race or anything that differentiates people. Seriously, I think I fucked up my eyes."

"5yo: OMG I'M STARVING I NEED TO EAT I'M GONNA DIIIIIEE!! *eats 3 fries* 5yo: Can I be done?"

"The FBI announce Hillary's indictment on April Fools"

"What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher. Girlfriends mom told us this ""joke"". Dad jokes are out, mom's are in."

"Why was the pig in the kitchen? It was bacon."

"Lenins If life hands you Lenins, start a socialist revolution."

"My dog kept me awake all night. Dreadful diarrhoea. Don't think I cooked him properly."

"Hippies say the darndest things... What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job? Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)"