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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken not cross the road? Because it would have been a fowl proceeding."

"What do you call it when 2 homosexuals stare into eachother's eyes? A gaze."

"If you reply with ""sky"" each time I ask what's up, I shall assume you're homeless."

"I'm sorry I punched you when you said ""Facebook me"". I thought you said ""Face punch me""."

"Why did Ray Bradbury use heated lube? It was a pleasure to burn."

"Just been up in the loft getting the Christmas tree down, and I found a present from last year which we must have forgotten to give to the kids... ...shame really, they would have loved a kitten."

"If Miley Cyrus really wanted to shock us at the VMAs, she'd show up in a burka covered in a snowsuit and slowly add more clothing each hour."

"What did the stoner say to his girlfriend? We'd be good together."

"Did you know John Denver had dandruff? Yeah, after his plane went down they found his Head and Shoulders washed up on a beach."

"""I don't know what else to say..."" Me, giving my husband false hope"