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Joke of the Day

"When one door closes... An incognito window opens."

"What is the difference between straight and bisexual? A 6 pack and a backrub"

"So my girlfriend wants to roleplay as a 14 year old... I told her ""why bother? You'll be 14 in a few years anyway"""

"What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese phone. Wing wing, hallo?"

"God: ""MOSES. THIS IS THE LORD. I HAVE NEWS FOR YOUR PEOPLE."" Moses: ""New burning bush. Who dis?"""

"Congratulations. You're 18. On a list of 20 people that I want to kill."

"I slept with every girl on my soccer team... I think I'm a team player ...sorry I'll leave now :/"

"What do you call a psychic dwarf that escapes from a prison? A small medium at large."

"Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left him."

"I'm my biggest critic. I'm my strongest critic. I'm my tallest critic. I'm my prettiest critic. who's a good critic. yes you. whose a good c"