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Joke of the Day

"When one door closes... An incognito window opens."

"I want a pet otter just so I can introduce it as my otter half."

"Knock knock.. Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke."

"New Years Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out."

"I was eating BBQ ribs and my waitress asked me if I wanted a wet nap... ...I told her it wasn't necessary because I had one earlier today."

"What's the difference between a decrepit rickety bus and the Egyptian god of death? One is an old bus and the other is Anubis."

"What do you call a turlte that flies? a shellocopter. damn homies"

"Waiter: how did you two meet Me: this is actually a blind date W: *much louder* SORRY I SAID HOW DID YOU TWO MEET"

"Chuck Norris can land a plane in Auto Pilot."

"The other day, an ex girlfriend of mine was hit by a bus near my house And I thought to myself ""that could've been me"" Then I remembered - I can't drive a bus"