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Joke of the Day

"How do you know Bernie Sanders got elected? All your stuff has been donated to charity"

"Why can't a lesbian diet and wear make up at the same time? Because..........It is hard to eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on her face."

"A Monk went into a shoe store... He was doing some Sole Searching."

"Why didn't the LoL champ care when she crashed her car? Because it was Elise"

"The hardest part of being a congressman must be pretending to actually like the people where you're from."

"I'm a scientist that's researching beastiality between humans and dogs. I'll be in my lab"

"I think someone just called me a ""beach""... But I can't be shore."

"During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, ""where should I put my pants""? ""Over there by mine"", was not the answer I was expecting."

"What is the easiest way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer."

"Me:What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat? 6: no M: oh for the bath? 6: no M: the pool? 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no"