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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a hippie chick pregnant? Cum on her shoes and let the flies do the rest"

"Somehow it's reassuring knowing I'm not the only one pretending to be normal."

"I can count the number of times I actually used a flyer on one hand... And still have five fingers remaining."

"What is the difference between a wife's argument and a knife? A knife has a point."

"Make sure to stand in the middle of group photos. It will be harder to crop you out later."

"I love looking at oranges, they are just so appealing"

"What's a parrot's favourite song? I love Parrots in the Springtime!"

"My parents say I'm too materialistic... Sent this from my new iPhone 6s Plus by the way."

"""Subpar accommodations. One star."" - Oldest known TripAdvisor rating for Bethlehem."

"God has no Phone, but I talk to him. He has no Facebook, but he is still my friend. He does not have a Twitter, but I still follow him."