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Joke of the Day

"News: Ireland has now legalized ecstasy, meth, and mushrooms due to an unexpected legal loophole. In other news: I have a plane to catch."

"The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children."

"Mexican magician to audience: I'll disappear on the count of three. ""Unos"", ""Dos"", *poof* They disappeared without a tres."

"How come north Carolina is the bluest state? Raleigh scattering"

"1915-17 may have been the worst years in human history for food poisoning. 1.5 million Armenians died from bad turkey."

"Where do homeless people read about their friends deaths? In the hobobituaries"

"i love our new home. LA is such a safe place and- *a dog drives by holding a pistol playing tupac in an el camino* denise get in the car"

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves? Russel."

"WHEN I SEE ALL CAPS I READ LIKE THE PERSON IS TALKING RIGHT BY A JET ENGINE, TELLING A CIA AGENT THAT HIS PLAN WON'T WORK...IT'S TOO RISKY"

"Bush Jr, and his take on words The only reason Bush Jr attacked Iraq,,, is because Bush Sr. asked for ""a tie rack"" for Christmas!"