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Joke of the Day

"So I asked my grandma I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"Whats the best part of having sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."

"Some people dont appreciate a good joke. When I say knock knock, youre supposed to say ""who's there?"" not ""im taking a shit, who are you?!"""

"the iPhone 8 won't even come with headphones you'll have to imagine you're listening to music"

"Maybe it's just me, but I know a few people that Cupid should shoot with a gun."

"Who do zombie cowboys fight? Deadskins."

"My girlfriend said she was leaving me because of my obsession with soccer So I said ""On loan or permanent transfer?"""

"What did the chef say to the man who wouldn't eat alphabet soup? ""I'm gonna make you eat those words!"""

"Bring a Knife on a date? When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"I was at a barbecue party when a cow from a nearby farm charged me and chased me into a corner It was at that moment I realized my life was at steak"