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Joke of the Day
"Why can't women play sports They can't wear the same clothes as 11 other women"
Next Joke
"I was a bit of a nerd in high school. Instead of chasing girls I was studying philosophy My friends always said that I put Descartes before the whores."
"I'm going to find a cure for blindness. YOU'LL SEE! YOU'LL ALL SEE!"
"My friend started jogging so he'd live longer. He got hit by a bus and died the next day."
"Problems I've got 99 problems and they're all first world."
"Her: You know when you're craving a cheeseburger but you order a salad instead... Me: (wiping ketchup off my face with my sleeve) No."
"Watching Jeopardy backwards would be about a panel of 3 people asking Alex Trebek questions that he always gets right."
"Why did tigger look in the toilet... He was looking for Pooh"
"Answer your phone, ""come in"" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond."
"What do you call a kid with one arm and three legs? Unfortunate."