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Joke of the Day

"I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out."

"I just want a woman that will look out for me while I'm shaking the vending machine"

"Two clean jokes that start dirty. What's brown and sticky? A STICK! What's a foot long and slippery? A SLIPPER!"

"Why wouldn't the pimp water his lawn? He couldn't trust his hose."

"What do they have for lunch at Monster School? Human beans boiled legs pickled bunions and eyes-cream."

"What's the difference between a normal baby and a matter baby?"

"Girl called me the other day and said: 'Come on over, nobody's home' I went over, nobody was home."

"*Weather changes* BODY: This is weird. Must have an asthma attack. *Anything else changes* MIND: This is weird. Must have a panic attack."

"Women are like hurricanes... They enter your life wet and wild, and they leave with your lawn furniture THAT WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARAH, YOU BITCH."

"Igloo Building by S Keemo"