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Joke of the Day

"Two clean jokes that start dirty. What's brown and sticky? A STICK! What's a foot long and slippery? A SLIPPER!"

"When the checkout person tries to put your toilet paper in a bag, tell them it's 'for here', not 'to go'. Then ask them to hurry."

"The cashier at the grocery store just gave me an ""I'm cooler than you"" look. Dude I will fight you with this baby strapped to me"

"Bruce Wayne needs to watch his salt intake, his sodium is through the roof."

"How big was osama bin Laden's hard drive? One terrorbyte."

"What do you call a fast country? I ran. Which one is faster? Rush sia. How about d fastest? E jeep. No? K"

"I'd probably be, like, 5% cooler if I wasn't terrified of being on a moving skateboard."

"There was a pretty girl in the produce section so to impress her I bought a mango"

"Ok everyone enough of your ""family"" time to come back to the internet. We are your real family."

"Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one if he's got a good crew to do it."