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Joke of the Day

"men r from mars , women r frm venus , neither are capable of reproducton or space travel so species dies out [RECALIBRATE SIMULATION?] <Y/N>"

"What happened when the man put in mypenis as a password? Error not long enough."

"Being football fans ... Why do all the trees in Wisconsin lean to the south ? Because Minnesota blows & Chicago sucks"

"I'm planning on ringing the new year in with a kiss ... whether my dog likes it or not."

"sexy night My wife started to do a striptease just for me. She asked me what should go out first. The light."

"What has a beginning and an end, but nothing in the middle? Life"

"[stacks of books on floor] Impressive, son. [son places pizza on one stack, soda & cookies on others] ""Yep; perfect height"" [turns on Xbox]"

"A verb tried to pick up a noun at the club... He wanted to conjugate, but she had to decline. Probably all for the best. She was right up against her period."

"Sam sung a song, and PUFF! An apple materialized!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the little bitch's house."