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Joke of the Day
"Things that don't kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming"
Next Joke
"Why did the chicken cross the road? She wanted to lay it on the line."
"I can't take movies seriously if the main characters aren't stopping to Instagram their meals and Tweet out the chase scenes."
"Why do Jihadist Muslims only drink instant coffee? 'Cause they hate the French press"
"How do you catch a unique rabbit? You 'neek up on him. How do you catch a TAME rabbit?"
"Who's the first Jewish guy to get a Heisman Trophy? ""Fred Goldman, because he's got mine!"" - OJ Simpson"
"How do you stop a monster digging up your garden? Take his spade away."
"Accidentaly switching two letters... ...can completely urin a sentence."
"Who's bad at baseball but fun at parties? A pitcher filled with margaritas!"
"I should never read tweets at work because I laugh out loud and everyone asks what's funny and I have to say this excel spreadsheet."