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Joke of the Day

"""I couldn't love anyone like you,"" I told my wife. ""Aw, thanks,"" she blushed. I'm glad she didn't understand me."

"What do you call a Dr. that shares your medical history with everyone? a HIPAAcrite"

"I went for my prostate examination this morning.After inserting a finger into my arse and having a good feel around, the doctor looked at me and said, ""that should be my finger, not yours"""

"If someone doesn't text u back it's certainly bc whatever u texted them was so stupid that it destroyed whatever relationship u may have had"

"People who live in Lego houses should not walk around without shoes."

"man and his girlfriend Girlfriend : I longer fit in this dress. man: May be dress shrunk after washing it. Oh ,wait a minute , Jim is calling ."

"When playing the guitar in public... keep in mind not to finger A minor, you could get arrested."

"I eat my hot dogs cold No bun intended"

"Why are camels called the ships of the desert? Cause they're filled with Arab seamen!"

"When I'm out with my kids and I see an x-boyfriend I like to scare him by saying ""Don't make eye contact with daddy."""