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Joke of the Day

"On the way into work I dropped my doughnut on the sidewalk. You read about these things, but never think it'll happen to you."

"The coffee in my cup is rippling. With all my experiences in the past this means that a dinosaur is coming my way.....Shit."

"I love the way you move...like butter on a bald monkey."

"The Apple store in town got robbed last night the police have sent out an appeal for iWitnesses"

"Pretty soon you'll be able to get married online, instead of saying ""I do"" you will have to click ""I agree to these terms and conditions."""

"if you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out"

"Why does Marx's toilet play a sonata when flushed? Because of the violins inherent in the cistern."

"What's the difference between Trump and Satan? Satan will at least let anyone into hell."

"What do you say when you see your television floating in the night? Drop it, nigga! What do you say when you see your refrigerator floating in the night? Nothing. That's a big-ass nigga."

"""Ask"" is the first word in the Spelling Bee every year, so they can immediately eliminate all the black kids."