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Joke of the Day

"What do you say when you see your television floating in the night? Drop it, nigga! What do you say when you see your refrigerator floating in the night? Nothing. That's a big-ass nigga."

"Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician? A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts."

"why was the chicken population so large? because it grew **eggs**ponentially"

"[sees some cut grass] ""Nice"" [sees some ripped leaves] ""oh yea"" [sees a twig with a 6 pack] ""holy shit"""

"Let's claim some underground tunnels and start a new society where staring at our phones isn't considered rude and eye contact is weird."

"Where do Muslim people go when they die? Everywhere"

"How many brits are needed to change a light bulb None they just terminate their apartment contract."

"If my dick were a card... (x-post from r/hearthstone) ...It'd have overload because you can't take it all at once."

"What did one druid say to the other? Bear with me..."

"What do you get when you cross worms with elephants? Big holes in your garden"