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Joke of the Day

"Why does Marx's toilet play a sonata when flushed? Because of the violins inherent in the cistern."

"I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions."

"I told my mom that the CIA was going to keep Osama Bin Laden's porn collection away from the public. She said, ""Who cares? It's probably just full of camels, anyway."""

"Q: Why didn't the grizzly wear any shoes? A: He wanted to go bear foot."

"Outside of a dog...... Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog well it's just to dark to read."

"My brother and I know EVERYTHING between the two of us. Go ahead, ask something..."

"*firefighter wraps me in blanket after he rescues me* Um I just came out of a fire so I'm pretty hot actually"

"At 17, Joan of Arc led the French to victory and I just looked for my phone while talking on it."

"Imagine if every Sunday all your friends decided to only speak in a foreign language. That's how I feel during football season."

"My favorite animal at the zoo is the gorilla... I ain't lion."