231611

Joke of the Day

"ME: *pointing gun* Give me everything. WORKER: Sir, this is a pet shelter. ME: I know. *carried off into the sunset by a wave of animals*"

"Keep reaching for the stars but get a better deodorant."

"How is the elevator business? Oh, it has its up and downs..."

"Why can't you keep Jews in jail? They eat lox!"

"ME: how do u get girls SCUMBAG GUY: gotta brag about the size of ur, ya know...organ [later at the bar] ME: hey baby i got a real big colon"

"The longer a Facebook photo of someone's kid goes unliked, the stronger I become."

"What is red and has seven little dents in it? Snow White's cherry."

"Date: Are you ready to take on another man's child? Me: yes Later- Date: This is.. *I knock her kid out with one punch Me: too easy!"

"""The holocaust didn't happen, Buzz Aldrin did 9/11 & I wear my mom's panties."" - guy who doesn't know how to play 2 Truths & a Lie"

"Wanna hear a joke about eye fluid? It's vitreous humor."