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Joke of the Day

"""The holocaust didn't happen, Buzz Aldrin did 9/11 & I wear my mom's panties."" - guy who doesn't know how to play 2 Truths & a Lie"

"it's not abuse if the substance likes it."

"I wish my lawn was emo... ...so it would cut itself"

"They're always telling me to live my dreams. But I love my d*ck! I don't want it to be sliced off by the women I cheated on..."

"How does Jennifer Lopez like her cheese? From the block."

"But how come Tarzan didn't have a beard?"

"Rick Astley voted in the referendum. He's never gunna give EU up"

"Procrastination is similar to masturbation The longer you wait the larger the load"

"Friday always feels like Wile E. Coyote running off the cliff and Monday is when he looks down."

"A local man was arrested today for pouring Harpic all over the vicar. He's been charged with bleaching the priest."