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Joke of the Day

"When I was in 3rd grade my teacher smoking in the classroom told us not to tell well I'm telling you now"

"I used to be afraid of gardening... ...but then I decided to grow a pear."

"What did the dog get at the vet? [FIXED]"

"Playing hard to get works with some men but apparently cops call it ""resisting arrest."""

"[Olympic Swimming] CANADIAN ANNOUNCER: I feel bad for the water look how hard they're kicking it."

"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow blower? You hand the bitch a shovel."

"iPad Apple will be unveiling a larger iPad. Proctor & Gamble is set to file suit over trademark infringements over Apple's new Max iPad."

"My vacuum cleaner is so good it collects dust even when I don't use it."

"Ever listen to the radio station WPMS? 3 weeks of the blues, one week of rag-time"

"Yo momma is so fat... ...She was diagnosed with a flesh-eating virus and they gave her 15 years to live."