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Joke of the Day

"Nothing like riding a motorcycle without a helmet. The wind blowing through your hair... the warm pavement on your face..."

"When I retire I plan to study oceanography. (I'll eat like a shark, drink like a fish and lay on the beach like a whale)"

"Why did the old lady fall into the well? Because she couldn't see that well"

"What's pink, bubbly and scratches at glass? A baby in a microwave"

"Stop trying to make small talk with me in an elevator. It's 2013, .... Stare at your phone like a normal person."

"*puts words between two asterisks*"

"Ever heard of an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac? They lay awake at night wondering if there really is a dog."

"After the Thanksgiving dinner, everyone says (-1)/8"

"CHECK OUT BUZZFEED'S TOP 10 LIST OF GODS FOR ATHEISTS. YOU WON'T BELIEVE NUMBER 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, OR 10."

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It can be a load of shit."