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Joke of the Day

"I really hope I don't wake up tomorrow morning. I don't want to die, sometime in the afternoon would be nice, or even the next day"

"How did the electron board the train? It lepton"

"Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo club Thank you all for coming"

"I hate it when they tell you that they accept cards but refuse to accept my seven of spades"

"""Ohhh, that's what you meant by period sex"" I say, removing my powdered wig and waistcoat."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile I said, ""That's a pretty big word for a six year old."""

"Have you seen the new fishing website? No it's not online yet."

"In 1987 Bernie Sanders wrote a folk album titled ""we will overcome"" At the same time Donald Trump wrote an album called ""we will over-comb"""

"Interviewer: What would you say is your greatest strength? Me: Definitely my insecurities. Very strong."

"I hit a guy with my car the other day. Don't worry, it wasn't serious. well... I was laughing. He might have been too, I didn't stop to find out."