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Joke of the Day

"I looked up ""thesaurus"" in my thesaurus and it says ""Don't be a smart-ass""."

"I'm sure my girlfriend's frigid Every time she opens her legs a light comes on."

"Sorting out Problems Remember, whenever you have a problem with someone, use hydrochloric acid. It's always a solution."

"I saw a refrigerator call a cab once Guess he was tired of running."

"I don't want to say my wife and I are lazy, but we finally folded laundry yesterday and half the clothes don't fit us anymore."

"Fact: If you ever blow me a kiss, I'm catching it and sticking it down my pants."

"What's another name for an irrational fear of clowns? Common sense."

"why are all jewish men circumcised? because jewish women won't touch anything unless it's at least 10% off."

"Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status..."

"A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink... When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, ""Bartender, how much do I owe you?"" The bartender replies, ""For you, neutron, no charge."""