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Joke of the Day

"Pieces of cooked meat have been found on mount Everest recently... The steaks have never been higher."

"You seem like the kind of person who always tried to open the wrong side of the milk carton in grade school."

"5 steps to a happy marriage: 1. Doritos 2. Oreos 3. Pez 4. Mr. Noodles 5. Oops this is my grocery list. 6. Still applicable."

"If sexual frustration could be transferred into a usable energy source, I would be sitting on a gold mine"

"Why was the hobo sad? Because he was in a great depression."

"Skrillex is the worst lab partner I've ever had to work with. Every time I hand him a beaker of alkaline solution, he drops it."

"To ensure that my wife will truly miss me when I go on trips, right before I leave I put a few spiders in the bedroom."

"How many times do I have to refresh internet pages before I'm happy?"

"Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? one's a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean."

"If a man shaves his arms and legs... He probably shaves his pussy, too."