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Joke of the Day

"After six years of being responsible, I finally went and lost my phone last night. I'm currently using Twitter from the web. LIKE A CAVEMAN."

"What eye cannot see, cannot blink and is bleeding? The browneye. You'll have to guess why its bleeding."

"""Torture me"" said the masochist. ""No"" the sadist smiled."

"""Hey babe, you smell that?"" ""No."" ""Me neither, start cooking."

"What do you call a group of black cartographers? Niggas with Latitude."

"MY NECK. MY BACK. MY PJ'S AND MY SNACK."

"My dad has a weird hobby, he collects empty bottles. Which sounds a lot better than alcoholic."

"I'm great in bed... I can sleep for days."

"My doctor wanted a stool sample a urine sample and a semen sample. So I gave him my underwear. Classic Rodney D"

"Child: ""Mama, I'm tired of running in circles..."" Mom: ""Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!"""