231206

Joke of the Day

"Me: Congrats! I heard you got married again Her: Sorry I didn't invite you. It was a small ceremony Me: Its ok. I'll go to your next one"

"You say you're an atheist, yet you tell people they can ""go to hell!"" Make up your mind already."

"I bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.."

"When I was 20 I took a vow of celibacy... My wife however called them ""wedding vows"""

"I saw that a fellow Redditor needed a liver. Lets just say (_) / ( _)>- / (_) OP De-livered &nbsp; ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Not ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^a ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^true ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^story"

"""i'd do anthony for you"" - worst autocorrect fail by me"

"People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better."

"Girl 1: ""Can I invite a few friends to your Halloween party?"" Girl 2: ""Sure. The more the scarier!"""

"How To Tell If Your Girlfriend Is Secretly A Minivan"

"So a train runs over a woman... A train runs over a woman... Who's fault is it? The train driver's because he was driving through the kitchen."