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Joke of the Day

"""i'd do anthony for you"" - worst autocorrect fail by me"

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"My asian girlfriend refuses to go all the way with me... She's a real life Chinese finger trap"
"What do you call a boat that looks like a penis? A Freudian ship"
"What's harder than nailing 10 dead babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to 10 trees."
"Why shouldn't you tell secrets when a clock is around? Because time will tell."
"Hilary Clinton will be the first f president of the united states.... i was gonna say female but someone deleted the emale."
"I'd like to dedicate this joke to my father, who was a roofer... ...so...dad, if you're up there..."
"A mosquito fell into my beer five minutes ago and now he's naked and calling his ex-girlfriends and drinking my beer"
"Why don't sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny. I am not sorry."
"Did you guys hear about that crazy thing Trump said at the debate last night? I couldn't believe it. He said ""Ohio is a spectacular place."""