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Joke of the Day

"People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better."

"I had my blood drawn today. The artist was very nice."

"What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDS"

"Why did Microsoft skip to windows 10? Because 7 8 9."

"Why did the vampire go to the doctors? Because he was coffin..."

"I have an EpiPen A man lying on the roadside gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."

"A young pirate asks his old sea dog captain... .. why he wears a patch over one eye. The captain replies, ""Yarr, my parrot shat in me eye... And I wasn't used to me hook"""

"Yesterday was National Girlfriend day and my girl friend really enjoyed it .. ... my wife .. not so much."

"Did you hear about the pair of university professors who got sued for sexual harassment? They were two lecturers."

"How do you suffocate a redneck? Tape his mouth shut."