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Joke of the Day

"Me: Get the tires rotated?? Don't they rotate enough while the car is moving? Mechanic: Omg you're right! What a scam. I truly apologize."

"I asked a friend of mine what it was like being a herb farmer.... ...He said its not so bad and that he had a lot of thyme on his hands."

"Remember when you were a kid and used to blow Bubbles? Well, Bubbles is back in town and he's looking for your number."

"I'm off to pick the kids up from school. Before their parents get there."

"January 4th is the commemoration of Schrodinger's death... But since he's is in a box, we are not sure."

"What Pablo Escobar And Other Narcos Fear Most? LEGALIZATION"

"""You look really pretty today,"" I said as I looked in the mirror, and my reflection replied, ""And you...um, you have a GREAT personality."""

"I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::...:::::"

"What's with girls having weird names nowadays? I recently slept with a girl and after sex she was like ""I'm Fifteen"" I was like that's nice I'm Daniel."

"What did Batman say at the deli? Got ham?"