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Joke of the Day
"All panties are edible if you're hungry enough."
Next Joke
"My worst fear is seeing one of my tweets marked as ""exhibit A"""
"How small you are in the universe In class there is a sub in class and is talking about how small I am in the universe and I reply ""teacher I'm small in the universe but I know were I'm big"""
"3YO: MOMMY HELP HELP! ME *throws cat off lap, drops phone, spills coffee on self, runs up stairs, kicks open door* 3YO: I want a snack."
"I gave my cat a middle name today, so she knows when she is really in trouble."
"How much does the average Hipster weigh? About 74,000 Insta-grams."
"What is Whitney Houston's best kind of coordination? Hand EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEE"
"Dont think about tomorrow because thats when the judge starts using the term premeditated."
"What do you call a German with a bad attitude? A sour Kraut."
"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, They're both stuck up cunts!"