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Joke of the Day

"Never tell a psycho that they're psycho, because then they feel like they're obligated to prove it."

"What's a horses' favorite hip-hop dance? The neigh-neigh."

"Please don't tell my three year old his oversized black calculator isn't really an iPad. He'd be crushed to learn his dad lied to him."

"Why Did The NSA Worker Have To Stay In Russia? He Was Snowed In(Snowden) ;)"

"Why couldn't the melons run away and get married? Because they cantaloupe!"

"I love the album Abbey Road so much I think I'm going to name my first daughter ""Road."""

"My wife asked if I was coming to our daughter's dance recital... I was, but I paused the video, pulled up my pants, and denied it."

"I would tell your a chemistry joke But all the good ones argon"

"If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims"

"Why does Snoop carry an umbrella? Fo drizzle"