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Joke of the Day

"In high school I hooked up with my teacher... She was really into me... I mean I was home schooled, but still!"

"Another Knock Knock Joke Knock Knock... Who's There? Autch Autch-Who? Gesundheit...."

"Woman goes to the vet because her Great Dane keeps jumping on her when she is in the shower... VET: Ok, so want him Neutered? Woman: No, declawed."

"A girl told me her exact age."

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I don't mind a 5k, but my running group wants to a 10k. I don't like them."

"If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?"

"I saved my neighbors some money on their car insurance By totaling their car!"

"what will i do when i have an out-of-body experience? i'll see myself out...."

"i have been told spending the night in this haunted house will grant me immunity from being pranked or fooled on the april fool day"

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Honestly I'm so shit faced I have no idea."