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Joke of the Day

"People ask me why I don't have any tattoos. I tell em "" would you put a bumper sticker on your ferrari?"

"Please tell me the grounds around mental hospitals have walking trails called psychopaths running through them."

"One from the 1970's . . . What's uptight, outta sight and in the groove? A tampon."

"I was going to tell a time travel joke... But I already told it."

"my favorite part about magazine interviews with actors are the 3 first paragraphs describing how they entered the hotel and sat down"

"What do you call a seaside shanty for kids without parents? A wharfanage"

"Why do old man's penises have low increases in size? because old men have low young's modulus"

"Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells? Because B-shells are too small, and D-shells are too big."

"What do you call a prostitute that has been kidnapped? A whorestage"

"[Doctor's Office] Seal: My flippers are sore. Killer Whale Doctor: Hmm interesting, swim a little closer into my jaws- I MEAN ONTO THE TABLE"