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Joke of the Day

"As an obese man, I think I would make a pretty good presidential candidate. I too only run once every four years."

"Repent! Seek jesus! Judgement approaches!"

"Why is minotaur pretty ugly? Because it is an Oxy+moron."

"I'm disappointed *The Social Network* movie about Facebook didn't have an epic Farmville scene."

"Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights"

"[Airport security] Guard: Your flight leaves in 5 minutes Centipede: No problem. I'll just run. I have 100 legs. Guard: Remove your shoes"

"Addiction therapist: You've tweeted 36k tweets in a year. Me: Yeah, so? Therapist: What are you paying me for? Me: Material. Therapist: ..."

"Your inability to learn complicated handshakes is tearing this gang apart."

"Can't wait to get off work, then I can finally stop staring at this damn computer, and go stare at a different computer."

"America has deployed a crack team of specialists over to Nigeria to try and find the missing school girls. Britain had sent Stuart Hall, Rolf Harris and Max Clifford."