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Joke of the Day

"[Airport security] Guard: Your flight leaves in 5 minutes Centipede: No problem. I'll just run. I have 100 legs. Guard: Remove your shoes"

"I was speaking to a black man the other day, when I said I suffered from Deuteranopia he asked 'Are you being racist?' I said 'no, I don't see colour'"

"Two tachyons are sitting in a gaming cafe when a normal particle walks in. The first tachyon looks over its shoulder and says, ""Fucking causals."""

"What happened to the blind circumciser? He got the sack."

"Why do old people read the Bible so much? Cramming for finals"

"Why did the Skeleton cross the road? Question: Why did the Skeleton cross the road? Answer: To go to the body shop."

"Teenage Jesus: Hey dad, why you wearing that crucifix? God: It's an idea I have for a public holiday. TJ: Huh? G: It's complicated."

"What do 'Game of Thrones' and 'The Sixth Sense' have in common? Icy dead people"

"Kate Middleton's gynacologist is getting a Knighthood The amount of Royal cunts he's put up with he probably deserves it."

"A Vegan and her Gluten-Free friend walk into a bar... and we only know that because it's the first thing they tell everyone"