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Joke of the Day

"[Airport security] Guard: Your flight leaves in 5 minutes Centipede: No problem. I'll just run. I have 100 legs. Guard: Remove your shoes"

"How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

"I think I've found the cure for AIDS. It was in the bathroom cabinet after all."

"What do you call an Eastern European cashier? A Checkoutslovakian. (Better said than read)"

"Will I ever be a good parent? *shakes baby* Wait a minute, if you're here [cut to Magic 8-Ball in crib]"

"Sucks that these Crest strips only come in white"

"Do you know what I miss about my childhood? Not caring about spelling and chocolate milf"

"After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like ""feeding the hungry"" and ""How to thank a loving wife"""

"Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house."

"Why does a Frenchman never eat more than one egg at breakfast? (for those linguistically aware Redditors among you) Because one egg is un oeuf"