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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I think I should introduce myself to my neighbors just so they don't describe me to the police as ""Quiet and keeps to herself."""

"What did the left boob say to the right boob? You're my breast friend."

"JOKE: What's an easy way on /r/jokes to find feminism jokes? Just look for ones that have a ""JOKE:"" disclaimer"

"I stepped on a grape once. It didn't scream, but it did let out a little whine."

"Android lets you use ""Lumos"" for the flashlight, ""Silencio"" for the notifications... but not ""Incendio"". That is a Samsung exclusive."

"[narrating a commercial for therapy] ""For a 100 bucks an hour we'll blame your mother."""

"Topical! What does a Japanese man do when there's an erection? He votes!"

"What do you call the beginning of a porno? Prelude"

"It's amazing how many people are allergic to gluten, peanuts, and facts."

"Q: Knock knock. A: Who's there? Q: Control freak. Okay, now, you say, ""Control freak who?"""