192378

Joke of the Day

"Android lets you use ""Lumos"" for the flashlight, ""Silencio"" for the notifications... but not ""Incendio"". That is a Samsung exclusive."

"All of Jesus' disciples were big and muscular Because Jesus was their whey"

"ME: You've put on weight DRACULA: No I haven't. Prove it ME: When you fly, how many bats do you turn into? DRACULA: [deep sigh] A shitload"

"Oh is it really raining outside? Please post a status update for all of us with no windows."

"What did the racist chess player say? All Rook same!"

"If you're having trouble with using the correct your/you're, just use ""ur"" because ur a retard."

"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Give a man a woman, and he'll teach himself how to fish."

"Every morning I wake up and every morning there is no breakfast in bed. We have got to do something about this level of poverty!"

"Me: Santa, why are women so scary? Santa: dude come on, I make $8.50 an hour, get off me."

"What bees makes the best milk ? Boob-bees And also this is my first time using Reddit and my account is only 30 minutes old by the time of this post so I have no idea what I am doing"