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Joke of the Day
"You have a life"
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"What do you get when you order a JFK? An americano with an extra shot"
"In England butchers price meat by how they smell... ...a good sirloin costs about 10 pounds per scent."
"Why doesn't Rihanna tell her boyfriend jokes anymore? He always beats her to the punchline."
"I know how to feed a nation...but will she eat it?"
"What's the smartest cookie? Academia nut"
"""Any two-watt bulbs?"" ""For what?"" ""That'll do. I'll take two."" ""Two what?"" ""I thought you didn't have any."" ""Any what?"" ""Yes, please."""
"I think that if I died and went straight to hell it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn't at work anymore."
"[alien taking notes] Humans: Reluctant to common sense gun control, yet somehow completely overreactive when approached by a bee."
"The Leaning Tower of Pisa is a good representation of all Italians Not straight."