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Joke of the Day
"What do canes and blue pills have in common? They're both ready for use when a man is limp."
Next Joke
"Did it hurt when you fell off a whore tree and banged every man on the way down?"
"I just made way too much pasta, so if you haven't eaten dinner yet, swing by and watch me eat way too much pasta."
"A poem I found I dig... You dig... We dig... He dig... She dig... They dig... It's not a very beautiful poem, but it's quite deep!"
"If Twitter allowed us to attach a signature to each Tweet, mine would be : ""He said, stupidly."""
"Self Respect is... Washing your hands before you take a piss. ...or rather, leave one."
"Apparently a dog whistle in inaudible to the human ear. Just think, my pet could be sitting in front of me whistling a tune and I can't hear a thing."
"Two chemists walk into a bar the first one says ""can I have a glass of H2O"" and the second chemist says ""Can I have a glass of H20 too"". and then he dies."
"He said he wanted to ""put more than just words in my mouth"" and I was like ""I hope you mean hamburgers."""
"Bad enough that literally no one showed up for my Super Bowl party today, but now I can't even find the game on tv to watch."